I’m interrupting my unplanned, un-announced blogging hiatus (just too damn busy and slightly uninspired) because this is just too mind-boggling and hilarious a story not to share…
Here’s the run-down…
I arrived home from work like any other day to be greeted by the adorable shaking and “so-happy-you’re-home” excitement of my dog, Perri. In case you’re not sure just how dang cute my puppy is, here’s a gratuitous photo:
See? I toldja! She’s rockin’ out on vacay in Miami in this photo…
Anyways, the first thing I always do when I get home is scope out the apartment to see what mischief the little she-devil has caused while home alone. It ranges from destroyed pillows to gnawed bureau knobs to exploded pens on our couch (I told you she’s a devil!) although occasionally, it’s only a chewed-up magazine or (rarely,) nothing at all.
I scoped out the living room and all seemed well and good. ’Amazing!’ I thought. ‘Most excellent day!’ Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed something hidden way in the back on the floor underneath our TV console.
See that white blob next to the storage bins? What is that?
A dishtowel. Perri likes to chew the basket where our dishtowels reside and apparently, she took one to hide. OK, no biggie, I could handle that. No harm, no foul. I reached underneath to pull out the folded up dish towel only to find that inside it was…
I sh*t you not (pun intended), this dish towel was folded over at least twice, concealing the gross content and definitely “hidden.”
For the record, our dog is a “hider”. We give her a bone and instead of chewing it, she trots off and hides it somewhere stupid, typically under one of our pillows on our bed.
I also unintentionally stuck my finger directly into this lovely little present, which was one of the grosser things I’ve done in my life*.
This is an un-doctored, un-tampered photo of the incriminating evidence
Pete and I are seriously bewildered over this. We do have a crazy-ass dog walker who comes every day but when I called her, she said she saw the dish towel on the floor after she walked Perri but that it was flat, not folded, and there was definitely no poop in it, so she offered no clues as to how this happened (unless she’s lying. Which is a possibility, given her level of crazy-pants. But…I don’t think she had anything to do with this.)
So. Our only option is to believe that our dog took a dish towel out of the basket (totally believable), pooped on it (eh, I’ll give her that too) and then folded up the towel and hid it under the TV stand (HOW IN THE HELL?!?!)…
Is our dog a genius of epic proportions or am I missing something here? I can’t stop laughing over this. I know, RI. DONK.
Anyways, I’m hoping to feel inspired to write some more running posts soon but for now, this’ll have to do! Hope this story made you laugh on this dreary Monday!
*Excluding all four years of college