A Public Shaming

You know how in medieval times, people would be put into stocks in the town square if they had done something wrong in order to publicly humiliate and inform the rest of the villagers of the offense? And then the villagers would get to hurl rotten tomatoes or the like at them?

Well, here is my 21st-century version of a public shaming.  I present to you all, in the hopes that this never happens again, the incredible amount of food in my refrigerator that would fall under the category of “rotten.”

In fact (oh, the irony) it would appear that much of this food would be useful to villagers if I were to actually be put in stocks since there’s a plethora of old (not old as in weeks, old as in months! Months!) vegetables in the pile.

Notice all the vegetables? Yeah, clearly I don’t eat them unless forced…

That, my friends, is a lot of food.  And I’m not a finicky person about expiration dates; if something is passed it’s date, I’ll smell, taste, read the ingredients and almost always then use it.

But all of this food was really, legitimately bad. As in moldy, rancid and gross. I’m pretty sure a living organism crawled out of that tomato sauce container and the orange juice made a very suspect noise when I opened it. And it was all in my fridge. *Shudder…Ick.

Oh, the shame, the shame, the shame!  And to think I like to call myself a good housekeeper (OK, no, that’s a lie, I can’t cook…But my house is usually pretty clean.)

So I offer up my own public humiliation with the intention of never, ever letting this happen again. Feel free to hurl virtual rotten tomatoes at me while I hang my head in internet stocks of shame.

Now, off to re-stock with foods that will prevent this problem from ever occurring again, even if there was a nuclear explosion (For example: Cheese Whiz).

Am I alone in this embarrassment or does your fridge get to a point of no return as well?

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Run Much?

I swear, I actually have been running a lot, I just haven’t been writing about it for whatever reason.  Mostly because, well, writing about running is actually not as interesting as I thought it would be.  Or maybe I’m just in a blogging slump.  Or just lazy.

Most likely it’s a combination of all three.

Anyways, I have decided to gird my loins (Seriously? WTF is that expression?) and try to talk a little bit less about my dog and a little bit more about my running, since this is supposed to be a running blog and all.

So.

I ran seven miles on Saturday, which was my weekly long run for my half marathon training.  It felt great! Is that obnoxious to say? Sorry if it is but I think I’m finally at the point where anything under 10 miles or so doesn’t bother me anymore. Success!

The weather was warm(er) and I had some new tunes on the ol’ iPod.

In case you’re what I was listening to, here’s a little sampling.

(Warning: My music taste sucks. I will be the first to admit this.  Top 40 makes frequent visits on my playlists.)

1.  Time of My Life (Dirty Bit)- Black-Eyed Peas

2. We No Speak Americano- Yolanda Be Cool and DCup

3. Raise Your Glass- Pink

4. Forget You- Cee Lo Green

See? I’m such a pansy about music, I can’t even listen to the real version of the Cee Lo Green song (which is supposed to be awesome.)

Anyways, I easily cruised through my seven miles, thanks to the help of my amazing Garmin and I’m actually looking forward to my eight-miler tomorrow since it’s supposed to be SIXTY FRIGGIN DEGREES!! Whooo!

I did an easy 30 minute run on Monday and then Tuesday and Wednesday, I led  work-out sessions for my co-workers who are also running the half marathon with me in April.

Our work-out was as follows:

3:00 slow jogging warm-up

5:00 dynamic warm-up (butt kicks, high knees, sideways shuffle, leg swings, tiptoe walking, carioca)

5 x Half-Mile (800 meters) at race pace or faster with 2:00 rest in between

3:00 jogging cool-down

The theory behind this work-out is to try and learn a faster pace.  This has two benefits-

1) On the day of the race, you will be familiar with your pace and won’t be tempted to go out too fast at the beginning (I learned my lesson on this the very, very hard way when I ran the Boston Marathon and was literally crying by Mile 16.)

2) The more you train at a faster pace, the greater the chance that you’ll actually run a bit faster at your race.  As they say (don’t ask me who “they” are)- Long, slow training runs lead to long, slow races.

Anyways, it’s a great work-out if you’re looking to mix up your running routine, I highly recommend it!

Anyone else inspired by the beautiful weather as of late to get out for a run? Should I keep writing about running or just go back to showing you photos of my dog?

 

 

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The Best Thing Ever

Although I am prone to over-exaggeration, I swear I am not lying with the title of this post, especially if you enjoy that sweet, sweet nectar of the gods otherwise known as ice cream.

Since this is not a food blog and am I a not good cook by any standard,  forgive my poor photo-documenting skills and just go make this amazing, delicious, incredible, awesome ice cream cake.

Ingredients:

Oreos (always double-stuff, no exceptions)

Vanilla Ice Cream (can use any flavor you want)

Cool Whip

Chocolate Syrup (again, could go with hot fudge or caramel syrup, whatever works for you)

M and M’s (or any other type of candy)

A crucial element in making this dessert is to taste every ingredient (you know, to make sure it’s not poison!) preferably in various combinations.  Here is a photo of all the items, clearly demonstrating how I have tasted and approved.

Alright, now let’s get down to business.  Here’s how you make it:

1.  Melt ice cream almost completely (should be pretty close to liquid form.) The easiest way to do this is to leave it on the counter and then forget about it for a few hours.

2.  Crush one sleeve of Oreos and spread out in your pan, so that the bottom is completely covered. I did this by putting the Oreos in a plastic bag and then taking out all my frustration and aggression on said bag. It was fun

3.  Spread about half the now-melted ice cream on top of the Oreos.

4.  Crush another sleeve of Oreos and put them on top of the first layer of ice cream.  Then drizzle a healthy coating of chocolate syrup over them and sprinkle the M and M’s on top.

5.  Spread the second half of the ice cream on top of the second layer of Oreos/chocolate syrup/M and M’s.

6.  Spread a layer of Cool Whip on top of the ice cream.

7.  Freeze for about four hours (I froze mine overnight.)

Mmmmmm, it is sooooo good!

I served it at a birthday party I hosted on Saturday night for one of my best friends and it was a hit.  Granted, we were all pretty drunk when we ate it but still.  Hit.  Win. Boo. Yah.

I even used my Martha-Stewart-esque decorating skills to write “HAPPY B-DAY” in M and M’s on top (so talented, I know.)

Now stop drooling on your computer and go make this cake.  NOW.

PS- I’m a day late and a dollar short on this but here’s my contribution to the Valentine’s Day cuteness overload out there on the internets.

I call it “Pyscho Puppy with Pink Balloons.”

Enjoy and I hope you all had a lovely, lovely V-Day!

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It Only Took Me Six Weeks…

To open up my brand new Garmin Forerunner 305!!!

Source

Yes, apparently Hannukah Harry (heretofore known as “Mom”) reads my blog and gifted me on Christmas morning with the much-coveted GPS running watch (I know, Jews opening gifts on Christmas morning? Crazy talk. )

In case you’re not aware of what this new-fangled thing I’m talking about actually is, it’s a running GPS watch.  You know the car GPS’ that use satellites to tell you exactly where you are? This is the same thing, only smaller and with a strap so you can wear it like a watch. Sounds awesome? It really freakin’ is.

But in spite of my excitement over this present, it took six weeks and an upcoming six mile run for me to actually bust it out.  Part of this was because I am scared of new electronic devices. Seriously.

Case in point: My cell phone is now 3.5 years old and counting.  Both the front screen and the main screen are broken and there are teeth marks on it from when my devil of a dog got ahold of it.  Yet, I refuse to get a new one because the thought of learning how to use a new one petrifies me (SO ridiculous, right?!? It’s a serious bone of contention for Pete, drives him nuts!)

Anyways, what was my point? Oh right, the Garmin.  The other reason I hadn’t had any motivation to bust it out was that the weather’s been such crap here in the Northeast that I haven’t been doing much outside running.

Well, I finally sat down last Saturday night (What? You don’t stay at home on Saturday nights to learn new electronics gadgets? Well, bully for you then!) and opened up the package.

And I guess the joke was on me because literally, all I had to do was charge it up and press the power button and BOO-YAH! Garmin. GO.

Let me tell you, folks, this thing is awesome!! I’ve used it three times since last Sunday and I love love LOVE knowing exactly how far I’ve run, what my pace per mile is, what my heart rate is and all the other fun stuff it tells me.  Is it sad that things like that make me jump for joy? A little bit, yes.

Apparently, I can also set up an account on my computer and connect Garmin to the computer to log in all my work-outs and such but let’s not get carried away here, just opening the thing up and actually using it was a big deal for me. Baby steps, people, baby steps.

Maybe in 2012 I’ll actually hook it up to my computer but I’ve been saying that about my car GPS for about, oh, three years now so don’t hold your breath (Seriously, don’t hold your breath.  For like, anything.  Breathing=good.  Not breathing=bad news bears.)

Anyways, three cheers for this Garmin and for me tackling my fear of new electronic gadgets.  Now if I could just get myself to go to the Verizon store and get a new cell phone, all would be right in my world.

 

 

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